Thursday, January 12, 2006

Entertainingly Bad

Filled with plot holes and bad acting, The Long Kiss Goodnight was probably one of the worst action movies I have seen in years. Yet, because of how unbeleivable the movie was, it actually made it quite entertaining to analyze. Gina Davis' character as Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore transition from being a teacher/mom to a spy is laughable in part to her horrible acting. For example, in the freezer scene, Charly Baltimore begins to embrace her daughter and cry even though a couple scenes prior she refused to acknowledge her daughter as hers. The final scene is even worse. There is no way that Charly Batimore's character could return to Samantha Caine's character and live with the family that she did not create. Gina Davis' acting really came to fault in the torture scene, for when she was raised out of water for the first time, instead of breathing spastically Davis is screaming like a dying animal. Ohh and where did that white dress come from, she wasn't wearing it in the previous scene. One other thing I caught was that when Baltimore grabbed the sub-machine gun from the burning man's side (he must had been burning there for a good 10 minutes) not only did it not burn her, but the gun still worked. If bullets are exposed to extreme temperatures, lets say a fire, the gun powder will ignite sending bullets in every direction.
I think that Samuel L. Jackson's character Mitch Henessey is put into The Long Kiss Goodnight as comic releif. Anyone that can live after being shot in the chest and blown out of two three level windows is definately not human. My question to Henessey would be how did he manage to gain the strength and kill the driver of the car, and then have the knowledge to put the car in the back of the truck so that he could dramatically break out of the back of the truck to save the day. I mean, when he hear's Charlie Baltimore's cry for help on the radio, he looks like he just woke up.
On the topic of plot holes, I found a whole lot of them. For one, how did the duo get all these different cars. Another was how did the duo get out of the freezing cold water so fast after being blown out of a third story building. Not only that, how is it possible to run away from an explosion and actually be able to hear Henessey comment before the duo get blown out the window. Or how about when the gun falls off the side of bridge and conveniently lands on a metal bar in arm's reach of the bad guy during the final fight scene. Even worse was what was the purpose of Brian Cox's character. The Duo get saved by Cox at the train station, only to be doubted and eventually hit with a tire iron on the back of the head and have his car stolen. Magically he reappears in the next scene, quite quickly I might add, to meet back up with Henessey. Despite the fact that Cox could overcome a blow so quickly and run an unknown distance to only be apprehended with Henessey, it does not give his character justice in the next scene. For in the next scene, Cox character's body is swimming with the fishes.


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